WHAT IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH OCD
You're taking too much time to do the dishes. Why do you have to arrange it like that? You are weird. You are so OCD!
These are sentences I hear every day, from family members, peers, and even strangers. It's almost like everyone I meet is different from me. At first, it was hurtful because everyone complains about it, how slow I can be and how my excessive need for order is annoying. I would usually become sad and depressed about it, not until I became aware of why I behaved like that.
OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder that causes a person to experience recurring, uncontrollable obsessions or compulsions, or both that he/she feels the need to perform repeatedly.
These obsessions are repetitive thoughts and urge that cause anxiety and distress. Compulsions on the other hand are repetitive behaviours that a person with OCD feels the need to perform in response to these obsessions.
There are so many misconceptions about OCD and the people living with it. It isn't just been too clean or and safety conscious, it is much more than that.
What it is like living with OCD
1. Excessive Cleaning and Washing: This is the most common behaviour among people living with OCD and the most obvious sign. In us dwells the fear of contamination and germs, mostly of getting sick. There is always the urge to wash our hands and clean excessively.
2. The Urge to Check and Recheck things: I find myself checking and rechecking things I just checked. Things like switches, door locks, stoves, gas cookers, windows and the list go on. Most times, I check them at a particular number of times, in a specific way and if I should mess up my check routine at any point, I have to start again.
3. Extreme Need for Symmetry and Order: Things need to always be even. I can't do anything to my left hand without feeling the urge to do it on my right hand. The obsession to be perfect and balance is always present. My obsession with symmetry eventually led to my obsession with numbers.
4. Hoarding: This is keeping and holding on to things you don't need because of the fear of something bad happening if they are thrown away. What is the worst thing that can happen if you throw away garbage, nothing; but my anxiety doesn't know that. I keep receipts, pieces of paper, junk because I am compelled to do so.
5. Forbidden Thoughts: This is having unwanted intrusive thoughts. These thoughts are mostly on violence, religious beliefs and sexuality. It is getting stuck on thoughts and mental images that are mostly seen as taboo or forbidden about things like scary movies, hurting others, disturbing sexual images and religious practices. Oftentimes, these thoughts violate the person's morals or values.
People with this type of OCD, usually have no history of violence neither do they act on their thoughts but they believe these thoughts are dangerous and try as much as possible to suppress them.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is not uncommon as about 1 in 40 adults have OCD and approximately 2.3% of the population has OCD. OCD is a disorder and the best thing you can do to people living with it, is accepting them.
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